maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
