i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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