Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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