Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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