when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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