You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
