i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
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I'm just crazy horny about you
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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