It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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