but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
