I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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