my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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