At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
