Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
