I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
