i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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