I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
