love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
