Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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