That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
