Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
