Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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