i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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