I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
