Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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