Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
