Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
