guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's the barista slut.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
