Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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