Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
