Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
