My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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