I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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