the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
