Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Mom said you looked used
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
