He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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