So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize