we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize