you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
