White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
