I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im having a threesome with these popsicles
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
