I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
