he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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