Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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