so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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