you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
