i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
