I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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