dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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