I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
