VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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