I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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