made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
