I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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