i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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