How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
