before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
