Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
