brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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