dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
