Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
