I want to have your abortion
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
