And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize