NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize