We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
