Come see our sink grown plant.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
