I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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