Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You have to summon your inner elephant
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
