It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
