Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
