yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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