sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
