Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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