we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I lost the right to judge tonight
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
